i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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