i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
