hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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