Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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