My boss' voice literally gives me gas
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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