Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
