I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
