PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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