But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
