dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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