Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Moan for me like Helen Keller

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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(816): View more from Missouri

you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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(514): View more from Quebec

i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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(727): View more from Florida

A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!

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(094): View more from

After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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(415): View more from California

he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy

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(206): View more from Washington

I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.

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