Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
