I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
