Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
