If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
