I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize