i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
