his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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