Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize