but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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