That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
