thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
