yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize