bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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