twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
