May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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