I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
