Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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