They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
