You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize