BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
