I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize
