When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
