i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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