god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize
