we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
nutella sex= disaster
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
