JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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