I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
