Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
