when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
