Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
