she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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