He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
