I'm lost and stupid without you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
