I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize