Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
