I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
false alarm, still single
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
