mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
