so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
