If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I will pee on everything he values.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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