living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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