I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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