Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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