Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize