Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
