Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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