my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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