i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
