Already got asked if we're dating
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize