I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
