...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
