I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
