I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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