dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
