woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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