he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
