ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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